Your Apocalypse Viewing Guide

I consider myself a slight aficionado (not an expert) of disaster movies.  From the overdone bravado, Independence Day, to the cheesy dialog, insert any made-for-tv disaster movie title here, nothing shows the ability of vastly different people to rise above natural human greed for the good of society like a disaster movie.  These cinema gems are really an anthem to socialism.

Therefore, in preparation for the impending end of the world, I offer this brief list of educational movies.  Some of these films are by no means what would be considered apocalyptic or post-apocalypitic cinema; however, they are all madly entertaining or informative for their own reasons.  While it may seem obvious to begin with Apocalypse Now, movies such as this one will only get you accustomed to the horror you may see in the post-apacalypic world, which is a good skill-set to have, but not completely useful in your early preparation for the apocalypse.  Instead, begin with WALL-E, the 2008 Disney feature about how humans destroyed the planet then went into space to get fat.  While a lazy obese human race does seem horrible, and at times horribly probable, the movie is light and will therefore give you a "toe in the water" entrance into your future doom.

Next, 2012 because it presents every possible natural disaster in the confines of 158 minutes and really shows you how the 1% will stick it to us all.  Similarly, The Day After Tomorrow is an epic natural disaster movie complete with terrible dialog but despite the sequence of events being rather compressed, the science seems quite probable.  These two movies won't really give you an idea of how to survive, unless you have billions of dollars to build some kind of crazy ark, but they will give you an idea of the signs of impending doom and how the unprepared will fall apart and most likely die in a fit of tears.  Most importantly, they will give you a taste of how to defy authority because most likely, see comment about the 1%, those in authority will not have your best interests at heart.

To be truly prepared, you can't only focus on typical catastrophic disasters be they natural or human encouraged; you must also look at those disasters that seem like nothing at all for as T.S. Eliot writes in The Hollow Men, "This is the way the world ends / Not with a bang but a whimper."  For this preparation, we must look to Contagion and I am Legend both great movies about disease caused apocalypse.  In case the apocalypse has a more biblical foundation, you should also watch Shaun of the Dead, a 2004 gem about how to deal with a zombie attack.

Once you have grasped the actual ending of society as we know it, you now must prepare for how to survive in a post-apocalyptic world.  Forget about money and learn how to shoot a gun.  Start with The Book of Eli because while the violence and plot are a slight distraction from your goal of learning to survive, you will be able to pick up some good tidbits here and there.  The ultimate education will come from The Road.  While it may frustrate you to not know how the world ends in the movie, that is really secondary to what you will learn about topics such as avoiding cannibals, cooking can goods, and adapting shopping carts for long range travel.

And maybe the end is not near, but watching these movies will at least be entertaining and if the apocalypse does happen this year, consider yourself prepared!  In the meantime, stop wasting time.  Those famous attractions you have always wanted to see, they could be underwater next year!  That expensive fashionable item you have been eyeing, pretty soon we might all be wearing rags!  The extra piece of cheesecake you don't think you should have, you will wish you ate it if you are soon living off of canned beans!

New Year's Resolution

I always like to use the period excuse, especially when it is the twelfth month of disappointment, to eat as much chocolate as I like.  Today I had a most amazing mini chocolate bar. While it was cute and small, it packed a huge punch.  Lake Champlain Chocolates' Five Star Hazelnut Chocolate Bar.  Not only was the base chocolate flavorful perfection, but it contained a half inch of gooey pasty milk chocolate topped with more solid chocolate and hazelnuts.  Definitely made my day.

Because of my 33.3333% success rate at New Year's Resolutions last year, my 2012 resolutions are easy - drink more and always wear a seatbelt (both incredibly easy to accomplish especially since I have never not worn my seat belt).  But really, my resolution is to live my life more like a dog.  The cutest black lab mix in the world, my darling Clara, is a model of carpe diem.  Despite eating the same dry balls of meat substance every single day, to Clara, every last piece of kibble is like eating the most amazing dish at a five star restaurant.  Even the shortest walk to Clara is not just a walk, but the most exciting day of her life; oh all the wonderful things to smell!  The other day my friend gave Clara the tiniest bite of roast chicken, and as she gulped it down, I could tell it was the best, THE BEST, moment of her life.  That is until the next best moment of her life.  The great things about dogs is that almost every moment of the day is the BEST moment of their lives.  Oh, to live more like a dog.

How Do Single Women Get Dressed?

I'm currently stuck in a cocktail dress, literally.

I can be alone; I can live alone.  Sure it's hard to motivate myself to make a proper meal, it takes forever to eat a whole lentil loaf, and all the yard work falls on one person, but I can deal.  However, I rather not and considering the end goal of so many twenty and thirty somethings to get married, I guess many people rather not live alone.  I love being married and having my best friend with me during so many mundane life moments - brushing teeth, making eggs, waking up slowly on a Sunday.  By far the one thing I have taken for granted about married life is having someone to zip up a cocktail dress.  Which brings me to why I am sitting on the couch late on a Saturday night stuck in a dress.

When I went to get dressed for a party hours ago, I logically selected a dress with a side zipper.  Side zippers are a one person job.  Or so you would think.  I zippered the dress half way, but then it got stuck.  Logically, I tugged and tugged and tugged and danced around the room while tugging.  The zipper would not go up.  I decided, as I was already fashionable late for the party, that I should just take the dress off and choose an easier outfit.  Fail.  The zipper was truly stuck and would go neither up nor down.  Now I fretted.  I guess I could cut it off.  Shimmy it over my head.  Or I could tug on it while dancing around the room.  Success.  The dress was unzipped.

A well balanced person might at this point of success take the dress off and change.  But no, I decided that since I could get the zipper down, I could probably get it all the way up.  Zip.  Stuck half way, again.  I threw a cardigan on and went to the party with the dress half open at the side.  No one noticed.

Now, I am stuck in a cocktail dress.  Luckily for me, in less than a week I will reunite with my wonderful capable of zippering a cocktail dress husband and this whole him away fourth year medical school crap will be over.  So if you see me around town and wonder why I am wearing a party dress to the grocery store, while walking the dog, at the post office, here it is.  I honestly cannot figure out (and frankly don't have the desire to be in a situation where I need to figure out) how single women get dressed.  But if anyone has any tips of how to get out of a stuck cocktail dress, it would make the next five days of my life much easier to hear them.

Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial

Last night A and I decided, foolishly, we had enough time to walk to the new MLK memorial and get to Dupont circle in time for a 6:30 dinner with friends.  Since we left Foggy Bottom at 5:55, this was a fools errand, but it was well worth being late for dinner.

I had heard some aesthetic criticism of the new MLK memorial, but I think it is great.  What makes memorials great, and in my opinion almost all the memorials on the mall in Washington fit this criteria, is a majestic approach.  MLK is no slouch in majesty.  As you approach the memorial entrance, which is two giant pieces of granite simulating a pass through a mountain, you see just a glimpse of the tidal basin beyond.  Coming through the passage you see another great piece of "mountain" in front of you surrounded by tidal basin off in the distance, and across the basin, the Jefferson memorial.  The idea is you are moving through the "mountain of despair" and ending up at the "stone of hope" (www.mlkmemorial.org).  Beautiful flow.  I also like the way the memorial is situated on the sightline between Jefferson and Lincoln.  To me, this adds so many historical grounding points - Jefferson a slave owner (although conflicted over it) and Lincoln an abolitionist.

The part of the memorial shown on most TV stations over the last few months was a close up image of part of the statue of King; this image made me think the memorial would be a gaudy simple structure.  But the truth is the statue of King is set into the piece of the "mountain" in the middle of the plaza, making it much more subtle than the TV images let on.  I really like the imagery for its surface simplicity and deeper meaning.  In many ways, the monument is a visual representation of MLK's speeches - simplicity with great meaning brought about through strong metaphors.  The whole monument is extremely tasteful and well done.  

Biking

To me, rail to trail trails are as mountain biking as I need to get.  To my host, not so.  This discrepancy has been great for me over the last two weeks

Last week, we went biking twice at Black Hill Regional Park in Montgomery County, Maryland.  While this is an advanced beginning trail, it was a challenge for me.  Luckily, I only fell once (don't judge, it is sometimes really hard to clip out of your bike pedals before you lose your balance).  The trail meandered on some paved paths, but mostly on root and rock dirt trails.  The worst part was the hill with much rough trail and a steep drop to the side; I stopped and walked my bike several times.  The best part was the small and frequent dips; it was like a mountain biking roller coaster.  By the time we turned around and headed back to the parking lot on our first visit, I was feeling quite confident (of course this is when I fell).  The second trip to Black Hill my ride was much faster as I was not quite so terrified of the terrain.  I even was able to accomplish some of the obstacles I opted out of earlier in the week.

Yesterday, we went to a park in northern Virginia.  This park was much more my speed, or so it seemed at first, as the trails had fewer obstacles.  But then we got to the switchbacks under the power lines.  Oh, how those would have been tons of fun if I wasn't so terrified of falling.  They were fun though, especially the last one where the switchback cut swiftly down a hill and the sides of the trail were so worn down with use it was like being in a tight luge run.  The best part of our ride in Virginia - I fell in the parking lot before we even started our ride!

Lots of fun.  I think, however, next week will find me back on the rail to trail Eastern Trail in Maine.  

Nostalgic for College

Today I find myself sitting in a Starbucks at GW listening to undergrads complain about midterms and graduate students discuss very complex projects.  Oh how I wish I was still in school!  Last night I dreamt I was in medical school, but I had forgot to schedule any fourth year rotations.  Things were obviously not going well, but I didn't care because, in the dream, I didn't want to be a doctor I just wanted to have a baby.

It is nice and strange to be back in the DC area.  Some of my (A and my) best times were here.  Our dear friend who we are crashing for the month has a charming row house in Frederick.  Two fireplaces, a cute fenced in backyard that Clara quite enjoys judging by the holes she dug there yesterday, and lots of creaky floors.  Very cute!

After meandering down the east coast last week including getting stuck in traffic in the Bronx (why the GPS routed me through the Bronx, I don't know; further, I don't know why after traveling by car to DC about two dozen times in my life I didn't know a better route on my own) and a brief stop in New Jersey for lunch with a friend, I arrived in Maryland.  Despite my generally negative perception of Maryland, Frederick is a charming southern town (mid-southern?).  Just a few blocks from where we are staying is a string of parks along a creek.  The center piece of the main park is a stone bell tower.  Paths meander around fields, a pond, a fountain, an outdoor theater.  Just adjacent to the park is a walking path along a canal (not a working canal, but a flood control canal).  There is obviously a great appreciation for art objects here because along the canal, in addition to shops, restaurants, and condos, is a trompe l'oeil bridge.  On it, several "stones" are painted with pictures to represent Frederick; however, some of them seem strange representations to me.  Another foot bridge looks like a modern suspension bridge and a third has intricate wrought iron pieces intertwined with the bridge railings.  While Frederick is not a big city, there are streets and streets of old stone and brick row houses and lots of cute shops.  Definitely cooler than many medium sized New England cities including the one I live in.

Last weekend, we went to the Myersville Trolley Festival where our host was selling some of her photographs.  (Check out her awesome photos at Under the Same Sun).  It used to be that trolleys connected much of western Maryland as a way for farmers to get their goods to market.  Oh how cars ruined that!  But here in Myersville, Maryland, Donald Easterly randomly decided to refurbish a trolley car.  And they actually let you inside it!  The festival was windy, but we ate some tasty food and listened to some Bluegrass music.

Sunday, I reluctantly, (reluctant only because I am lazy) drove to Annapolis to go to the Maryland Renaissance festival.  It was actually great fun!  They have quite the grounds for a place that is only open  nine weeks a year.  The jousting was by far the best.  We rooted for Scotland (only by default because we sat on the Scotland side), but Scotland lost.  I'm pretty sure based on the wonky scoring that the competition was fixed anyway.  The most mind boggling thing about any Renaissance festival, to me anyway, is the extents people, ordinary people not working there, go to to dress up for said festival.  I hope these people go to multiple Renaissance festivals every year just to get their monies' worth.

Alas, now I am wishing I was back in college because (oddly) I just love studying and writing papers and having a small and immediate purpose with small and immediate feedback.  I suppose editing my students' essay drafts in Starbucks is close enough to being in college.  And the best part, I can procrastinate more than I ever did in college.

(My former German professor just sat down at the table next to me!  Hee hee hee!)

How Can You Tell It's Time for a Road Trip?

In Kahlil Gibran's The Prophet, he describes marriage as two separate pillars holding up a temple.

"And stand together yet not too near together:  For the pillars of the temple stand apart..."

It is important for two people to be independent, but they need to also be holding up the same building.  Andy being away for four months is not as bad as things can be by any means.  There are countless spouses alone for up to a year if not more because their other halves are deployed.  And some day Andy and I will most likely experience that.  Even though we have been lucky enough to see each other three times since he left in August, I feel so discombobulated lately.  I am a crooked temple.

That is when you know it is time for a road trip.  In this situation, there is no reason to not spend as much time as possible together because someday it might be impossible to spend time together.  I am seizing the day and road tripping to Maryland!