How Do Single Women Get Dressed?

I'm currently stuck in a cocktail dress, literally.

I can be alone; I can live alone.  Sure it's hard to motivate myself to make a proper meal, it takes forever to eat a whole lentil loaf, and all the yard work falls on one person, but I can deal.  However, I rather not and considering the end goal of so many twenty and thirty somethings to get married, I guess many people rather not live alone.  I love being married and having my best friend with me during so many mundane life moments - brushing teeth, making eggs, waking up slowly on a Sunday.  By far the one thing I have taken for granted about married life is having someone to zip up a cocktail dress.  Which brings me to why I am sitting on the couch late on a Saturday night stuck in a dress.

When I went to get dressed for a party hours ago, I logically selected a dress with a side zipper.  Side zippers are a one person job.  Or so you would think.  I zippered the dress half way, but then it got stuck.  Logically, I tugged and tugged and tugged and danced around the room while tugging.  The zipper would not go up.  I decided, as I was already fashionable late for the party, that I should just take the dress off and choose an easier outfit.  Fail.  The zipper was truly stuck and would go neither up nor down.  Now I fretted.  I guess I could cut it off.  Shimmy it over my head.  Or I could tug on it while dancing around the room.  Success.  The dress was unzipped.

A well balanced person might at this point of success take the dress off and change.  But no, I decided that since I could get the zipper down, I could probably get it all the way up.  Zip.  Stuck half way, again.  I threw a cardigan on and went to the party with the dress half open at the side.  No one noticed.

Now, I am stuck in a cocktail dress.  Luckily for me, in less than a week I will reunite with my wonderful capable of zippering a cocktail dress husband and this whole him away fourth year medical school crap will be over.  So if you see me around town and wonder why I am wearing a party dress to the grocery store, while walking the dog, at the post office, here it is.  I honestly cannot figure out (and frankly don't have the desire to be in a situation where I need to figure out) how single women get dressed.  But if anyone has any tips of how to get out of a stuck cocktail dress, it would make the next five days of my life much easier to hear them.

Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial

Last night A and I decided, foolishly, we had enough time to walk to the new MLK memorial and get to Dupont circle in time for a 6:30 dinner with friends.  Since we left Foggy Bottom at 5:55, this was a fools errand, but it was well worth being late for dinner.

I had heard some aesthetic criticism of the new MLK memorial, but I think it is great.  What makes memorials great, and in my opinion almost all the memorials on the mall in Washington fit this criteria, is a majestic approach.  MLK is no slouch in majesty.  As you approach the memorial entrance, which is two giant pieces of granite simulating a pass through a mountain, you see just a glimpse of the tidal basin beyond.  Coming through the passage you see another great piece of "mountain" in front of you surrounded by tidal basin off in the distance, and across the basin, the Jefferson memorial.  The idea is you are moving through the "mountain of despair" and ending up at the "stone of hope" (www.mlkmemorial.org).  Beautiful flow.  I also like the way the memorial is situated on the sightline between Jefferson and Lincoln.  To me, this adds so many historical grounding points - Jefferson a slave owner (although conflicted over it) and Lincoln an abolitionist.

The part of the memorial shown on most TV stations over the last few months was a close up image of part of the statue of King; this image made me think the memorial would be a gaudy simple structure.  But the truth is the statue of King is set into the piece of the "mountain" in the middle of the plaza, making it much more subtle than the TV images let on.  I really like the imagery for its surface simplicity and deeper meaning.  In many ways, the monument is a visual representation of MLK's speeches - simplicity with great meaning brought about through strong metaphors.  The whole monument is extremely tasteful and well done.  

Biking

To me, rail to trail trails are as mountain biking as I need to get.  To my host, not so.  This discrepancy has been great for me over the last two weeks

Last week, we went biking twice at Black Hill Regional Park in Montgomery County, Maryland.  While this is an advanced beginning trail, it was a challenge for me.  Luckily, I only fell once (don't judge, it is sometimes really hard to clip out of your bike pedals before you lose your balance).  The trail meandered on some paved paths, but mostly on root and rock dirt trails.  The worst part was the hill with much rough trail and a steep drop to the side; I stopped and walked my bike several times.  The best part was the small and frequent dips; it was like a mountain biking roller coaster.  By the time we turned around and headed back to the parking lot on our first visit, I was feeling quite confident (of course this is when I fell).  The second trip to Black Hill my ride was much faster as I was not quite so terrified of the terrain.  I even was able to accomplish some of the obstacles I opted out of earlier in the week.

Yesterday, we went to a park in northern Virginia.  This park was much more my speed, or so it seemed at first, as the trails had fewer obstacles.  But then we got to the switchbacks under the power lines.  Oh, how those would have been tons of fun if I wasn't so terrified of falling.  They were fun though, especially the last one where the switchback cut swiftly down a hill and the sides of the trail were so worn down with use it was like being in a tight luge run.  The best part of our ride in Virginia - I fell in the parking lot before we even started our ride!

Lots of fun.  I think, however, next week will find me back on the rail to trail Eastern Trail in Maine.  

Nostalgic for College

Today I find myself sitting in a Starbucks at GW listening to undergrads complain about midterms and graduate students discuss very complex projects.  Oh how I wish I was still in school!  Last night I dreamt I was in medical school, but I had forgot to schedule any fourth year rotations.  Things were obviously not going well, but I didn't care because, in the dream, I didn't want to be a doctor I just wanted to have a baby.

It is nice and strange to be back in the DC area.  Some of my (A and my) best times were here.  Our dear friend who we are crashing for the month has a charming row house in Frederick.  Two fireplaces, a cute fenced in backyard that Clara quite enjoys judging by the holes she dug there yesterday, and lots of creaky floors.  Very cute!

After meandering down the east coast last week including getting stuck in traffic in the Bronx (why the GPS routed me through the Bronx, I don't know; further, I don't know why after traveling by car to DC about two dozen times in my life I didn't know a better route on my own) and a brief stop in New Jersey for lunch with a friend, I arrived in Maryland.  Despite my generally negative perception of Maryland, Frederick is a charming southern town (mid-southern?).  Just a few blocks from where we are staying is a string of parks along a creek.  The center piece of the main park is a stone bell tower.  Paths meander around fields, a pond, a fountain, an outdoor theater.  Just adjacent to the park is a walking path along a canal (not a working canal, but a flood control canal).  There is obviously a great appreciation for art objects here because along the canal, in addition to shops, restaurants, and condos, is a trompe l'oeil bridge.  On it, several "stones" are painted with pictures to represent Frederick; however, some of them seem strange representations to me.  Another foot bridge looks like a modern suspension bridge and a third has intricate wrought iron pieces intertwined with the bridge railings.  While Frederick is not a big city, there are streets and streets of old stone and brick row houses and lots of cute shops.  Definitely cooler than many medium sized New England cities including the one I live in.

Last weekend, we went to the Myersville Trolley Festival where our host was selling some of her photographs.  (Check out her awesome photos at Under the Same Sun).  It used to be that trolleys connected much of western Maryland as a way for farmers to get their goods to market.  Oh how cars ruined that!  But here in Myersville, Maryland, Donald Easterly randomly decided to refurbish a trolley car.  And they actually let you inside it!  The festival was windy, but we ate some tasty food and listened to some Bluegrass music.

Sunday, I reluctantly, (reluctant only because I am lazy) drove to Annapolis to go to the Maryland Renaissance festival.  It was actually great fun!  They have quite the grounds for a place that is only open  nine weeks a year.  The jousting was by far the best.  We rooted for Scotland (only by default because we sat on the Scotland side), but Scotland lost.  I'm pretty sure based on the wonky scoring that the competition was fixed anyway.  The most mind boggling thing about any Renaissance festival, to me anyway, is the extents people, ordinary people not working there, go to to dress up for said festival.  I hope these people go to multiple Renaissance festivals every year just to get their monies' worth.

Alas, now I am wishing I was back in college because (oddly) I just love studying and writing papers and having a small and immediate purpose with small and immediate feedback.  I suppose editing my students' essay drafts in Starbucks is close enough to being in college.  And the best part, I can procrastinate more than I ever did in college.

(My former German professor just sat down at the table next to me!  Hee hee hee!)

How Can You Tell It's Time for a Road Trip?

In Kahlil Gibran's The Prophet, he describes marriage as two separate pillars holding up a temple.

"And stand together yet not too near together:  For the pillars of the temple stand apart..."

It is important for two people to be independent, but they need to also be holding up the same building.  Andy being away for four months is not as bad as things can be by any means.  There are countless spouses alone for up to a year if not more because their other halves are deployed.  And some day Andy and I will most likely experience that.  Even though we have been lucky enough to see each other three times since he left in August, I feel so discombobulated lately.  I am a crooked temple.

That is when you know it is time for a road trip.  In this situation, there is no reason to not spend as much time as possible together because someday it might be impossible to spend time together.  I am seizing the day and road tripping to Maryland!  

Top Ten Texas

10.  Jamba Juice.  Yes, it has very little to do with Texas, but in northern New England we are not blessed with such fruit amazingness.

9.  BBQ.  Of course we wanted to eat real Texas BBQ while in Texas.  First, some friends who live in Texas tried to tell us all the best places to go, but the conversation quickly turned into an argument with four adults shouting out their favorite BBQ places, so we didn't really pick up much useful information.  In Austin, we tried to go to a BBQ place, but it was closed because it was Sunday.  In Killeen, we tried to go to a BBQ place, but it was closed because it was Monday.  Finally, my last night in Texas, we drove by a red shack with an open sign and outdoor seating.  BBQ.  The pulled pork was good, but the sides were unimpressive.  For me, the side dishes are my favorite part of BBQ.  They didn't even have corn bread!

8.  "Downtown" Killeen.  In a city of over 120,000 people I expected a lot more from what the city of Killeen advertises as "downtown".  Three square blocks of run down shops does not make a downtown.

7.  Sonic!  We don't have many of these types of establishments in New England considering half the year it is freezing cold.  Pretty awesome to eat hot dogs and tater tots (!!!) in a car.

6.  Cupcake truck in Austin.  Strawberry cake with cream cheese frosting!  (I keep finding quirky cupcakes wherever I go and am not complaining.)

5.  Mexican meat.  We went to a friend's house, a transplant from Candia, and had fajitas made with this giant slab of marinated beef she bought at a Mexican market.

4.  Dr. Pepper Museum in Waco.  While the museum was definitely a giant tribute to capitalism right down to their Freemarket Institute, they have an awesome old soda fountain where we imbibed on some delicious Dr. Pepper.

3.  Journal Club Texas Style.  This activity consists of a bunch of doctors shooting guns for three hours then discussing some journal articles.  The ranch where the event was held was beautiful; vastly different lifestyle from most of the run-down little cites we saw.  I was pretty astounded at how many guns the doctors seemed to own.  I didn't shoot anything, but for me, it was a big step just to be standing near guns.

2.  South Austin.  Wacky antique shops (I especially liked the one with a giant stuffed hare over the door) and chic restaurants.  I had some amazing French toast with peaches and cream on top.

1.  Honor to the confederacy.  At the capitol building in Texas, a building a real Texan I met proudly proclaimed was taller than the US capitol building, the floor in the rotunda honors all of the countries that have flown their flag over Texas.  This includes the Confederate States of America.  And they have a monument to the victims of the War of Northern Aggression who died for "States Rights Guaranteed under the Constitution".  You just have to admire that gumption!

Running in Texas

Surprisingly running 7 miles in Texas was not as uncomfortable as I thought.  When A told me that the high here the other day was 104, I immediately thought I would be quite discontent on my visit to Texas or spending five days indoors.  Today is in the low 90s.  Were this New England, I would probably be lying on the floor with a bag of ice on my forehead cursing the sun.  Really, low 90s in Texas is not nearly as bad as low 90s in Maine.

While the temperature was a pleasant surprise, the best part of the run, by far, was running on Tank Destroyer Boulevard.

Bachelorettehood

A's been away for almost six weeks now.  The other night, I had nachos for dinner.  What is becoming of me?   I felt that level of degradation called for a gourmet meal for one!

On the Menu:  Corn on the cob from a local farm, green beans from my garden, potato salad made from my home grown potatoes, bourbon-and-vanilla-brined pork chop (recipe from Fine Cooking Aug/Sept).

Fall Crop

Since getting home from the Northwest I have been living a rather slow pace of life. Part of me feels lots of guilt as I hear my neighbors pull out of their driveways in the early hours of the morning or friends complaining about work. But a large part of me is enjoying this opportunity. Letting myself wake at my body's natural time, going to yoga classes in the middle of the afternoon, grocery shopping with the elderly - I know this can't last forever, so I am embracing it.

I dug up half my potato crop. They are gorgeous!

Glass and Cupcakes

The best thing to do in Tacoma - watch the glass artists in the Museum of Glass' hot shop.  While the exhibits were cool - especially the glass sculptures based on children's drawings - it was awesome to enter the 90 foot stainless steel cone that houses the hot shop.  The workers were creating glass structures using molds created by artist Nicholas Kripal.  To envision one of these pieces, think of a bunt cake made of glass.  The glass is blown into a bulb then the bulb is blown into the mold creating clear pieces whose edges contain crystalline architectural details.  Later, the pieces will be constructed into a larger site specific artwork.  Nicholas Kripal and Jeffrey Mongrain are the artists collaborating on this project.  It was wild to see the method of glass blowing, but even more amazing to be in the presence of the artists as they oversaw the procedure.

3.  Blowing Bulb in Mold

1.  Creating Bulb

                                                          

                                                                           2.  Placing Bulb in Mold

Finished Product - for Now

To leave the Museum of Glass and head away from the sound is just as much of a treat as the museum itself.  The walkway over the highway, called the Chihuly Bridge of Glass, is full of glass artworks from Dale Chihuly.  The first part as you leave the museum is cool - a huge case of various size vases with elaborate flowers and imaginative squiggles coming out of them and snaking around them.  Then there are the giant sculptures that look like blue rock candy.  Finally, the jaw dropping ceiling of glass art works.  I was really not expecting to look up while crossing a bridge over a highway and see over two thousand object floating above my head.

Tacoma has a pretty cute little downtown.  As we meandered, I found myself babbling away about some cupcake show I watched last week about a cupcake shop in the northwest (although I think the shop is in Canada, so A joked that it is actually in the southwest).  Like the angels heard me there was a cupcake shop!  I had this amazing chocolate pretzel cupcake.  Not only was there an inch of fudgy frosting covered with pretzel pieces, but there were also pretzel pieces baked into the bottom of the cupcake.  In honor of friends who love to take pictures of their food, salivate over this:

Didn't Get on the Plane

In the movies, a standard cliche is Lover A is dropped at the airport by Lover B and after a heart-wrenching goodbye, Lover A meanders away supposedly to board the plane.  After enough minutes pass for us to think that Lover A got on the plane (or at least through security), Lover B realizes the mistake in separating and makes a mad dash back to the airport.  This usually involves a mad dash through heavy city traffic and often an illegal entry through security, or, my favorite, the purchasing of a very expensive plane ticket ANYWHERE just to get through security.  All plane travel abandoned, the lovers reunite and go out for sushi.

In real life, plane tickets cost a lot of money.  So today, when I didn't get on the plane back to Maine it is because I called to change my flight yesterday.  Maybe there was not as much drama or romance, but who can waste that much money during a recession?

To step outside of a long ago arranged plan is totally out of character for me but also totally invigorating.  To clear a whole week of plans just to mull about more in the Northwest is as rewarding as taking a whole box of junk to Goodwill (maybe more rewarding).  I guess this is living in the moment although I did think more people might notice, like I might have a new glow and people would stop to point as I walked down the street.  It's enough that it is my quiet secret that I was nearly totally irresponsible and used long stored up (because I never use any) reckless abandon.

Pacific Northwest

     With the pine covered craggy shores, rocky beaches, and chugging fishing boats, I could easily be anywhere in Maine right now.  Puget Sound looks so much like my favorite bay in Midcoast Maine.  With an entire day all by myself with no hotel room, I meandered through Point Defiance Park.  This large wooded area of Tacoma is a microcosm of woods and water that made me feel so at home, but instead I was in the middle of a city with almost a quarter of a million people.

     While I have been warned not to get sucked into the glorious weather of August, it is glorious here.  Friday we hiked twelve miles in Mount Rainier National Forest.  The forests here are more fir and there is some very old growth.  What is unique is the swatches of old growth sliced together with new growth.  In one small stretch of trail, the trees might go from 20 feet to 220 feet.

     In less than a two hour drive we got to the Olympic Peninsula and the Pacific Ocean.  This was a HUGE deal for me because I had never seen the Pacific and I love to check off places I've been.  While there was a large state park parking lot, everyone seemed to just drive their cars onto the beach;  hundreds of cars by mid-afternoon.  There was a much larger prevalence of sand dollars than I have ever seen on a beach although we weren't able to find any unbroken ones.  The water also had a bit of a brown tinge to it.  However, I couldn't resist a foot dip (had the air temperature been warmer, I probably would have taken a real dip).  One more ocean down!

     

Saturday and Sunday I got a taste of Seattle life.  While it is a large city, it seems very casual and manageable.  It felt good to be navigating city streets feeling overwhelmed by the many options.  We walked around the Seattle Center and Pike Place Market area at dusk then ate a late dinner at the Space Needle's revolving restaurant.  A little kitschy but an experience.  The food was actually excellent, and as long as I didn't look at the windows, I didn't really feel the movement.  We made it about one and a half times around by dessert.  This afternoon we returned to Pike Place Market to see it in action.  The most impressive thing were the vibrant bouquets - prettier than anything I have ever seen and for less than 20 bucks.  It was not just ordinary grocery quality flowers thrown together; they were like samples out of a dutch painting.  And the food!  Crazy displays of fresh seafood, fragrant fruits and vegetables, good coffee, and AMAZING pastry (Piroshky Piroshky).  The most rich flaky and hazelnutty thing I have ever consumed. 

     The thing I like most about this area is that despite the obvious urban setting (there are three major cities in a 60 mile line on I-5) the urban is so seamlessly intertwined with the forest.  It also helps that Puget Sound provides a waterfront to every city and you never have to look far to see Mount Rainer looming off in the distance.  I have never seen cities with such extensive parks and Seattle has two lakes!  This afternoon we met some friends near where they live in the University District and kayaked on Lake Union.  Here we are amid hundreds of boaters, under an interstate, paddling away.  And it was peaceful and beautiful.  Even many of the apartment buildings in Seattle are nestled in the evergreen trees.  Oh, and did I mention the houseboat used in Sleepless in Seattle is on Lake Union! 

Here is good.  I don't want tomorrow to be my last day.

Today Only

As someone with the initials JGL will point out with mild disinterest and sarcasm, I do not update blogs frequently.  I always get on a kick and then lose it.  Well, isn't that the way with life?

When I quit my job a little more than a year ago, I had grand plans for a year of wild carpe diem.  I started off well - India, Greece, upstate NY, Italy.  Then I got two part times jobs.  I'm not good at math, but I can do this equation:  1 part time job + 1 part time job = 1 full time job.  So, work 17,456,987, carpe diem 4.

A bit ago, a former college roommate said she was jealous about my carpe diem quest.  I told her not to be because it actually floundered.  Well, here goes part two.  For the last few weeks, as my summer employment neared its end, I have resisted with great difficulty applying for a permanent respectable job (i.e. a permanent or semi-permanent teaching position).  There have been several available in my area, but my quest to truly experience life in the moment (and my lack of desire to put down roots that will once again be torn) overpowered my sense of practicality.  And hence, in less than a week the school year begins and I, happily and worriedly, have only a part time job (if adjuncting one class and tutoring a few hours a week can even be considered part time).  While some may think it is foolish to talk this way when so many people are right now unemployed not by choice, I am feeling this great sense of relief and exuberance.

I don't know what I am going to do.  I have some ideas.  And because I am incredibly blessed (and my husband is a saint who just wants me to be happy), I have the means to quest.

When

i can't wait for
when i am older and have homework
therefore i will not have to wash dinner dishes

when high school is over
i will be appreciated for my mind
and boys will finally like me

when the semester is over...
when i graduate...
when i get a job...
when he asks me to marry him...
when i get a job i like...
when we move to nh...
when i can afford to buy clothes at the mall...
when i go to india...
when i get to leave india...
when we move out of this awful house...
when he is a doctor...
when it stops raining...
when i weigh 150 pounds...
(even though I used to lie on my license
and say I weighed just 165)
when life settles down just a little...
when this run is over...
when i get pregnant...
when it is five o'clock...
when we get some rain...
when dinner is ready...
when it is the weekend...

Waiting for when is like waiting for Godot.
He is NEVER coming!
             or
He is omnipresent.

The Past

My first post here, is (are) an old post(s).  For various reasons, mainly the really rude albeit computer generated comments I was receiving, I am ending my old blog and starting this new one.  However, I don't want to totally dismiss the past even though my new quest is to be in the present (see future blog post), so below is a link to my past...blog.

Thoughts from when I was running forward...